Irrefutable proof of England’s upcoming glory — Why is football coming home? Is it Saka and Sterling’s license to roam? Is it us shaking that imposter syndrome? Is it Grealish’s perfect use of his comb? Memories of chances previously blown? Sam Matterface’s comforting drone? Scotland causing confidence to drop like a stone Just for the Czechs to…

A gourmet buffet for £12 — The world is becoming a more and more expensive place. Back when I started drinking, I could get a round of three pints and expect change from a tenner. My mum used to give me £1 at the beginning of the week, and I could buy myself a pack of…

My observations/confession — I’ve recently been harangued into watching ‘Married at First Sight: Australia’. …

Hello I’m Arsenal — and I’m a pile of shit — A few months ago I rather foolishly wrote a blog about the ups and downs of being a football fan. Now this was a mistake. A giant mistake. A monumental mistake. Much like being born which was the first mistake I made in life but it certainly wasn’t the last. …

Genius, insanity… or both? — 2020 has been a tough year for damn near everybody. The one person who’s had a cracking 9 months is Jeff Bezos. …

Fall, fall, fall, small rise, then fall — Fan (Noun) Someone who admires and supports a person, sport, sports team, etc This is what the dictionary defines a fan, and not for the first time – I’m arguing with the dictionary. I don’t admire Arsenal Football Club. Do junkies admire the drugs they take? No. They need it…

Turn your infant into a winfant — Looking after a baby is both simple and easy. Much like making a bowl of cereal or crying deeply into the mirror as you wonder where your 20s went. However plenty of people seem to struggle. Now having been a baby myself, I’m confident in my wisdom. …

It came, you heard, it conquered — Now, people often think a good mix should rise and fall, but people are wrong. It should be all rise, baby. Barney Stinson Barney Stinson as a character had his flaws. His hair was horrendous. He was probably the tiniest bit sexist. …

A story inspired by humanity’s greatest villain — Darkness. Then light. Then confusion. What is this? No brimstone. No clouds. No God. No Devil. Hades nowhere to be seen. Only one conclusion to be reached — no death. But how? His last memory were teeth cutting through his flesh like a knife through butter. Searing pain. Surely no…